22/4, afternoon

At first it sounded cool to get knocked out. Can't be worse than it was for Ludde when he passed out last Saturday. He drank too much booze and just fell asleep. I don't have to drink, but I can pass out anyway. But I know what it was like for Ludde. He was raving mad. Howling about Nina. About how he loooooved her. And Nina is Kalle's girlfriend! So Ludde lay there on the ground making a fool of himself. Now everyone knows he has a crush on her. Once I'm under start raving too. Say some things about myself. Start babbling about being a virgin, even though everyone thinks I've been around. Or get a boner! What if I have a boner and the biggest wetdream. No. I don't want I don't want to be knocked out. Maybe I'll get a hard-on and wake up in the middle of it all. Wake up in the middle of the operation and feel how they're cutting me up, but can't speak. Like the worst horror film. They just cut and cut while I'm wide awake and can't get out a damned word. No. I don't want

Here comes a nurse, she's probably going to bring me to my room